START WITH SCRIPTURE:
Genesis 24:34-38, 42-49, 58-67
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OBSERVE:
The Old Testament lesson for this week focuses on transitions and rites of passage. The actual lectionary reading — Genesis 24: 34-38, 42-49, 58-67 — includes only a part of the whole story.
We must begin with the back story. Sarah, the mother of Isaac, had died at the age of 127 years at Kiriath Arba (Hebron), when her son was about 37 years old (Genesis 23:1-4). A few years later, Isaac hadn’t yet married, and this spurs Abraham to action. He seems to be concerned about two things:
- His own advanced age and health — perhaps he wishes to see Isaac married before his own death.
- He is concerned that Isaac should not marry a “local girl” from among the Canaanites, perhaps because of their idolatry.
So, Abraham commissions his chief servant with a very important mission — he is to return to Mesopotamia and seek a wife from amongst Abraham’s own family (apparently the prohibition against “kissing cousins” was not yet in effect).
The servant (who may well have been the Eliezer named in Genesis 15:2 as Abraham’s chief servant and heir prior to the birth of Ishmael and Isaac) makes the long journey back from Canaan to Mesopotamia, bearing with him gifts loaded on the backs of a caravan of camels. When he arrives, presumably at the city of Haran (although it is called here the city of Nahor because it is where Nahor lives), the servant rests at the water well outside the city. The time is in the evening, when young women come to the well to draw water for the family. The servant prays to Yahweh, Abraham’s God, and asks for direction in finding the girl to whom Isaac is to be married. The sign for which he asks is fulfilled — she not only draws water for the servant, she also draws water for his camels!
Our passage begins after the servant has discovered that this young woman is in fact Rebekah, the daughter of Bethuel the son of Milcah, whom she bore to Nahor (Genesis 24:15). Nahor was the brother of Abraham! God has brought the servant directly to Isaac’s cousin! He honors her with a gold ring for her nose, and gold bracelets for her wrists.
When Rebekah brings the servant back to her family’s tent, there is an awful lot of “catching up” to do. The servant fills them in with updates on Abraham and Sarah — their blessing from God, their greatness and fame, and particularly their prosperity. And then there is the clincher — the servant reveals that he has been sent to find a wife for the boss’s son.
Then the bargaining begins. The servant says to Rebekah’s brother and father:
Now if you will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me. If not, tell me, that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left.
Unfortunately, the lectionary editors have not included one of the more interesting interactions in this account (verses 50-56). Bethuel, who is Rebekah’s father, and Laban her brother appear to be angling for a good “bride price.” Although they admit that what the servant has told them seems to come from Yahweh, they appear to be bargaining with the servant. After he gives jewels and gold and clothing to Rebekah, Laban and her mother, Laban and Bethuel delay the servant’s departure. Is this sentimentality because they want to prolong the goodbye with Rebekah, or is this a way of milking more treasure from Abraham’s servant? Given what we learn about Laban in subsequent accounts from Genesis, particularly his rather devious and sharp dealing with Rebekah’s son Jacob years later, we may have good reason to suspect Laban of ulterior motives.
The servant finally has to demand an answer:
He said to them, “Don’t hinder me, since Yahweh has prospered my way. Send me away that I may go to my master.”
Astonishingly, in this patriarchal, male-dominated culture, they allow Rebekah to speak for herself:
They said, “We will call the young lady, and ask her.”
Rebekah reveals herself to be a person of adventurous faith. She agrees to accompany the servant to a land she doesn’t know, in order to marry a man she has never met!
Rebekah is sent away with the family’s generous blessing:
Our sister, may you be the mother of thousands of ten thousands, and let your offspring possess the gate of those who hate them.
The journey south to Beer Lahai Roi (coincidentally, the location of the well at which Hagar was comforted by Yahweh’s Angel in Genesis 16:9-14. Beer Lahai Roi describes the place as ‘where God lives and sees me.’) leads to one of the most romantic encounters in the Scriptures:
Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the evening. He lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, there were camels coming. Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she dismounted from the camel. She said to the servant, “Who is the man who is walking in the field to meet us?”
The servant said, “It is my master.”
She took her veil, and covered herself. The servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife. He loved her. Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.
In this classically abbreviated Hebrew style, we see this young woman and man meet, fall in love and marry, all in just a few verses. The phrase indicating that Isaac took her into Sarah’s tent suggests that Rebekah has filled the grief in his heart over his mother’s death. Sarah’s empty tent, formerly a place of sadness, now becomes a place of joy. And one wonders if this may be a part of the Jewish custom of the wedding tent even today. Isaac was 40 when he married Rebekah (Genesis 25:20).
APPLY:
There is an old expression — “theirs is a marriage made in heaven.” We may wonder, in these modern times when divorce seems rampant, if heaven has anything to do with marriage.
We find in the account of the relationship between Rebekah and Isaac that even a marriage “made in heaven” requires human as well as divine initiative. We see evidence of a divine/human synergism in this account. Perhaps another way of saying this is that God plays matchmaker — but human beings must cooperate!
Abraham sees that the eligible women in Canaan are not suitable for his son Isaac — this is probably not because of ethnicity but because of their idolatrous religion. So he takes action and sends his servant back to the “home country” to find a woman.
The servant prays for a sign from Yahweh which is promptly confirmed when Rebekah appears. But she must also exercise her own free will in order to become a part of this Abrahamic dynasty and the salvation history of Israel.
And Isaac also must consent to this “arranged marriage” and choose to love Rebekah — even when her coming was not originally his idea!
Perhaps we have a partial answer to the increase of rocky marriages today. A common faith, prayer, and the choice to love one another are critical in strong marriages.
RESPOND:
In some ways, this account of the arranged marriage of Isaac and Rebekah, with a servant as the yenta (the “matchmaker”), seems to come right out of the pages of a book with a title like The Art of the Deal. It all seems so “transactional.”
The servant brings camels laden down with treasure, and then asks for the lady’s hand on behalf of his boss’s son. It’s about a business arrangement. And it’s about the family business.
But I wonder — is our “romantic” ideal, based on “falling love,” a preferable model? Divorce rates suggest that many marriages based solely on “romance” don’t last very long.
As a father of two I can understand Abraham’s efforts to intervene by arranging a marriage for his son Isaac. I joke that marriage is too important to be left to hormonal kids! The truth is, the prayer of the servant may be the most important and most easily overlooked feature of this story. Without deep and earnest prayer, no marriage should ever be solemnized. It is prayer, and a strong faith in God that keeps Christian marriages together.
Lord, marriage is ultimately your idea — bringing two people together for the purpose of love, comfort, and, yes, for a legacy that will outlive that man and woman. We pray for strong, loving, faithful marriages that bring honor to you. Amen.
PHOTOS:
“Terah’s family” by Martin LaBar is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.0 Generic license.
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